When I first came to Angela’s office, I was a complete mess. I had been trying to get pregnant for a year and had gone through several Clomid and IUI cycles, all of which were unsuccessful. My OBGYN told me that I needed more invasive testing and also suggested that I try acupuncture to help me relax. I had never been open to alternative methods of healing in the past but at that point I was willing to try anything. He mentioned Angela’s name and I made an appointment with her a few weeks later.
From the moment I stepped into her office I knew there was something special about it. It may sound trivial, but the office staff’s genuine concern, positive attitude and professionalism made me feel safer than in any western doctor’s office I had ever been to. I was promptly led to a cozy room and offered still or sparkling water. I sat with my sparkling water and, although I didn’t know it at the time, awaited the entry of the person who was going to change the rest of my life.
During our first meeting, something about Angela’s demeanor radiated acceptance and a lack of judgment. Right away I felt that I was in a safe place. I realize now that I was craving two things, both of which Angela delivered. The first was simple acknowledgement that what I was going through was hard. I sensed genuine despair from her about my situation, which was a welcome relief from all the people who kept telling me that it was ok and it would “just happen” and to “stop worrying.” The second thing I craved was a holistic approach to why I wasn’t getting pregnant. She examined everything from my diet to my blood tests to my relationships with others. Most importantly, over the next 6 months, we addressed my relationship with myself, which proved to be the most crucial piece of my fertility struggle and essentially all the struggles in my life.
We started slow by just changing my diet. We worked for weeks to get me gluten free, dairy free, soy free and sugar free. Angela helped me see that I had emotional attachments to food and that breaking them would bring emotional freedom to my life. From there we delved into medical testing. She recommended a great reproductive endocrinologist who performed several tests, all of which came back normal. At that point we began doing real “work.” Spiritual work. Over the next several months, we examined my relationship with my husband, friends, family and myself. It was this work that changed my life. I learned to love myself, forgive myself and stop judging myself. As a result, I was able to love, forgive and stop judging other people. I let my walls down, which was a very painful process because my walls were there to protect me. I learned how to open my heart and worked not to let it close no matter what “trigger” came my way.
There is no way to explain the depth of the work Angela and I did together because it was my journey and my work. All I can say is that Angela was my teacher and my mentor. She opened my eyes and my heart in ways I never could have imagined. Six months after our first meeting, I felt for the first time that I didn’t “need” to get pregnant in order to be happy. I truly felt that I could be happy just being me. A few weeks after that revelation, I found out I was pregnant. No Clomid. No IUIs. Just a healthy diet, a happy relationship and self love. I not only credit Angela with helping me get pregnant, but I credit her with giving me gifts that I will take with me for the rest of my life. She changed who I am at my core, how I see myself, others and life as a whole. I am a less anxious person, a less judgmental person and a whole lot happier. It is for these reasons that I will be forever grateful to Angela.