When I was 40 years old, according to the reproductive specialists I was working with, it would not possible for me to get pregnant. They were wrong. On July 31, 2008, I was blessed with a healthy and vibrant son. Sometimes, medical science is only part of the equation. Sometimes we have to listen to our gut, find balance in our bodies and trust in something more. That is exactly what my work with Angela helped me to do. She gently helped me to get back to what I already knew, but had lost touch with during this stressful, heart-wrenching journey. She is not only a magnificent acupuncturist and practitioner of TCM, but she is a gifted healer in every sense of the word. She infuses each session with loving intention and guides her patients to deeper awareness and a belief in our ability to be conscious creators.
In April 2007, at 40, I walked down the isle for the first time. My husband and I tried to conceive right away. We were ecstatic when we thought we were having a honeymoon baby… only we soon realize it was just a missed cycle. And two months later, it happened again. As I met with my OB, I was faced with the somber reality of my ‘aging-eggs’ and a reminder that I had been diagnosed with endometriosis in 2001. After an unsuccessful round of clomid, he shipped me to a reproductive specialist who told us we need to be ‘as aggressive as possible’ because of my age and kept stressing my ‘small window of opportunity’. He recommended that we skip IUI and go right to IVF. But as a yoga instructor, introducing anything unnatural into my body went against every fiber in my being. We sought out two other opinions and received the same feedback. Fear was beginning to take over.
They soon discovered my FSH was 27 and said there was nothing they could do for us. My heart dropped. On day 3 of my next cycle, I had my FSH levels checked again. This time they told me I was PREGNANT!. I was utterly confused. They said it wasn’t possible. My mind was spinning. For the next month, I am monitored several times a week for hormone levels. HCG and Beta replaces FSH. What should go up, what should go down and I am filled with stress and anxiety. 6 weeks later, it starts to look like we are in the clear and no sooner do we exhale…I miscarried. I was back in the office listening to the specialist tell us that we should consider in vitro or donor eggs as soon as possible because I unable to sustain a pregnancy”. When they checked my FSH again it was 26.5 and they sent me on my way. I was filled with a sense of inadequacy, sadness and uncertainty.
All this time I had been focusing on my body (actually, obsessing is a better word). All of my attention on what was wrong with my body, what my body wasn’t doing, why now that I was ready to get pregnant, my body wouldn’t cooperate. My mind was creating so much stress, how could my body cooperate? And so, I began again to practice yoga, meditate, to pray, to set an intention and notice the flashes of intuition that would arise. Within a few weeks, through a series of synchronous events I was led to an acupuncturist who specialized in fertility: Angela Le.
I shared my perceived failure and she shared her success in helping others who were told very definitively “you can’t have a baby”. I connected with her right away. She intuitively understood my need to learn as much as I could about this approach before I felt ready to move forward full speed ahead. With that understanding, she recommended two books that I devoured: Inconceivable and The Infertility Cure book of Chinese medicine. So we started slow. The more I learned, the more she encouraged me to became an advocate for myself. And with that, I was on a new empowered path.
She helped me to understand that her clients came to her not only as a last resort or an alternative to conventional methods, but also as a way to support one’s body going through fertility treatments. It was about creating balance. So in addition, nutrition and Chinese herbs were also incorporated. She assessed my diet and since I have always been mindful about what I put into my body, I thought How hard can this be? But before I knew it, with her goal of cleaning my system of potential allergens, she took out dairy, soy, wheat, gluten, corn, orange, peanuts, eggs. And if that wasn’t bad enough… sugar, caffeine and alcohol! My husband affectionately named this the “air diet”. But she was kind enough to wait until after my upcoming trip to Italy to get me started.
So for the next eight weeks, I drove 45 minutes each way, twice a week for acupuncture. I felt so relaxed, and yet, so alive. Each session started with intuitive, empathic listening. She was treating my heart and soul, not just my body. With her guidance, I started to connect to my inner wisdom. I had learned to trust my body and to find balance. I recognized the changes that I also needed to make in my life, to make space for this new soul. Within a couple of months, between the diet and the acupuncture, guide imagery, I was really feeling a difference in my energy level and my ability to really tune into my body’s signals. And then one night, I walked into our bedroom and said to my husband, “I think I’m pregnant”. My period wasn’t due for another week, but I just felt it in my body, I just “knew”. The next day, on November 9, 2007, my instincts were confirmed. The call came in: “Congratulations, you are pregnant!” I was overjoyed.
I continued acupuncture with Angela until my son was born. I had the most incredibly healthy pregnancy and On July 31, 2008, a healthy 8 lb-13oz boy Noah Bennett (which means Peaceful, Little Blessed One) was born! I remembered telling Angela, a few months prior, that I wanted to find a way to share this incredible approach and her work with others struggling on this journey. Women, like me, who have been told they are too old, FSH is too high or the myriad of other reasons why we are taught to disconnect from our innate creative power and believe it’s not possible. My journey with Angela not only led to my beautiful son, but also to a deeper part of myself. She has inspired me to educate, support and empower other women other their fertility journey through my work and to make that vision a reality. And four years later, I am excited and honored to introduce Angela’s work in my educational seminar series: Conscious Conception, and to have her share her knowledge, insights and her spirit with other women on this journey.