Awareness comes in many forms and on many levels. As we grow into ourselves we develop awareness to who we are and how we want our lives to look. Last month, I wrote about how seeing your life as art is an important key to finding daily gratitude and value in your experience. Becoming aware and seeing your experience from a new perspective is something that is often developed through resilience and healing our painful experiences. This month, on the heels of Mother’s Day, if you are feeling any kind of struggle - whether with fertility, motherhood or relationships, I want you to know you’re on the right path, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
What does it mean when your life isn’t going exactly as you’ve planned it, or maybe more accurately, feels way way off course? When a woman faces difficulty in the context of her fertility she often thinks that something is wrong with her and that her life had veered off track. In the comparison to what you might have expected, that is true, things are different, and that can be very painful. When this happens, the first step to growth and becoming unstuck is to acknowledge your disappointment and pain, and most importantly, to embrace yourself. This is the time when awareness is essential, because the struggle any woman faces during fertility is usually coming from a feeling of unworthiness.
And there is difficulty in this because we are often brought up to compare ourselves and our experiences to others - you might question why should your journey to conception should be any different than your family, friends and peers. But when it feels hard we have an opportunity to dig deep and possibly discover and unshakable, resilient aspect of ourself that we have never known. This helps us to cultivate love, worthiness and confidence in ourselves and in life. Why is self-acceptance ok? Because to argue with reality you deny your own experience - and when we do that we abandon ourselves. I see my patients absolutely blossom when they embrace acceptance and start to sit with any pain, anger or other emotions they are facing. Yes, it is difficult, but it is a powerful path to freedom.
This does not mean giving up, in fact the opposite is true. When you start to embrace your reality what you are doing is becoming emotionally powerful and confident. And most importantly, less afraid of the unknown. Opening your eyes to acknowledging life as is allows you to cultivate more presence in your life. This is an essential part of loving yourself and starting to mother your own heart. When you don’t know how your own fertility experience will fare, this is also an essential companion to your spirit and the seed of all resilience. The unknown becomes rooted, with practice, a little exciting, and not dictated by your expectations.
And that, is the key to thriving through it all - no matter what “it” is. Understanding how to see and embrace the difficulty, and open your heart to the possibilities that await you. So if you are experiencing any type of pain or stuck in any way, I hope you can embrace some of these words and sentiments of Dan Millman, “Every positive change - every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness - involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception.”