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Chances are you've spent part of your December thinking about what you will be giving your family members and what you can do for your friends during the holidays. These acts of kindness are beautiful gestures of appreciation for the loved ones in our lives that make the season worth all of the additional effort. I can’t imagine not being able to generously give and show love during this time of year. There are also real benefits to this.
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The reality that some women will conceive easily and some women will experience a much more difficult journey to do so can rob even the most grounded soul of her sanity. Sure, modern science is there to explain that fertility issues are common and surmountable. But this doesn’t always soothe a racing mind or ease anxiety
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Nearly a year ago, I found myself sitting with a new patient, Jenny. Her reproductive endocrinologist had made a referral to our office for additional support while she was going through her egg freezing process.
Upon meeting Jenny you get the immediate impression that she has everything one could want and, more specifically, she has achieved these things on her own terms. Her decision concerning motherhood could easily be accepted as another self-directed aspect of the full, beautiful life she’d built for herself.
Behind the veneer of success, though, like many women that come to see me, Jenny was struggling.
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There are many things that we as women spend a great deal of time readying ourselves for throughout our lives, whether it be college, grade school, a notable promotion, or even our wedding day. We understand that the preparation itself is valuable, that it will provide us with an edge and a better perspective as we step into a new phase of our lives.
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Women today are shaping tomorrow’s future. Having manifested a greater equality than we’ve ever seen before, women have created very real change in our communities as our opportunities continue to increase. Most of us are able to attain higher education and impressive salaries. We have the freedom to be single, to travel, to do whatever we want and be whomever we want to be.
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Anita’s story starts off as many do – she found love a little later in life, and she and her husband started trying to have a baby when she was 34. Anita had no problem conceiving, but had a difficult time maintaining a healthy pregnancy. She experienced several early miscarriages that left her physically and emotionally drained. Each required at least six months of recovery time before she could start trying to conceive again. In part because of her age, Anita was feeling both the deep sadness of the miscarriages and the pressure of needing to conceive quickly, even if her body hadn’t completely healed.
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When Jocelyn first came to see me, she and her husband had been trying to conceive for over a year. She had been through four cycles of Clomid and three IUIs, none of which had resulted in a pregnancy. She had reached the point where her physician recommended she take a break from medical treatments due to the stress it was causing her. Jocelyn’s physician suggested she look into stress relief techniques such as acupuncture, which lead her to my practice.
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For many, infertility is an isolating experience. One out of every eight couples will experience it, and so far nearly eight million women have gone through fertility treatments – but most of them suffer in silence. Despite the growing incidences of infertility in the United States and across the globe, we just don’t talk about it the way we do with diseases like cancer. There seems to be a cultural lag in awareness and acceptance for those with reproductive health concerns. Even if it’s a problem affecting someone you care about, right now – because of the nature of the deep shame and suffering that goes hand in hand with infertility, chances are you might not know about it.
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